I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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