I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
