Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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