i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
