In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
