ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
