But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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