I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
