One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
