My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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