I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
