So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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