after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
