I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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