The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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