Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
