She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
