Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
