so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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