A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
