So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just pee around me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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