dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
