i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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