I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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