that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
