She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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