be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
