im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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