I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
