Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
