is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
