The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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