Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
