She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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