Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
