If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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