Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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