you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
