He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize