Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think my fart just growled at me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
