You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
