Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
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We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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