i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
