It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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