You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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