Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize