Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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