I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
