Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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