I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
