why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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