Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
