dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
