I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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