Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
