Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
