I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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