It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
