Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
