it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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