It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
