lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
