I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
